War Continues in Iraq, Paris Hilton Goes Back to Jail

hilton.jpgThe death toll of U.S. military in the Iraq War has surpassed 3500, an impressive number considering that whole “mission accomplished” thing a few years back. Meanwhile, Paris Hilton was sent back to jail.

I don’t know what disgusts me more, the continued war in Iraq, or the unhealthy fascination this society has with human trash like Paris Hilton. What happened to the good old days when a person facing jail time was given the option of joining the military? It seems to me, that rather than continuing on as the wastes of flesh they are, depleting precious natural resources and dragging us further down the evolutionary scale, people like Paris Hilton should be forced to enter into the military and see a little action in Iraq. As long as this government continues to support a war policy that treats human beings as cannon fodder, it seems to me that the high society flotsam and jetsam may as well be put to good use. I mean fuck it…it’s only a matter of time before Lindsey Lohan drops dead from a cocaine overdose, or kills someone while drunk driving. Why not put that bitch to some good use? It’s not like her films are contributing to better quality of life. Shove an M-16 in her hands, and drop her off in the desert.

Don’t get me wrong, because I don’t believe in the war. But I also don’t believe in the sick way we give two shits and a rusty fuck about how skinny Nicole Richie is, or if Brad and Angelina are going to split up. It disgusts me that I should even have to address such issues. But this is the country we live in. More people know who the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter is, then know who Alberto Gonzales is, or why he should be kicked out of office. Who can give the name of the baby that Tom Cruise had with Katie Holmes in a sad attempt to prove his heterosexuality? Now, how many can name the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff that is stepping down? Better yet, who can tell me what the Joint Chiefs of Staff actually do?

mccandless.jpgIn other news: Colorado teacher Carrie McCandless was sent to jail for taking part in sex acts with a 17 year-old student. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!?! Yes, I know sex with a minor is illegal. But look at this woman! There is not a 17 year-old heterosexual male that wouldn’t give his left nut to throw a hump into this woman. Look at her mugshot for fuck’s sake!!!! I would give my left nut to have sex with her. She has a sort or sad, crazy look in her eyes that is always a turn-on.

I’m not a betting man, but something tells me Carrie has self esteem and maturity issues. But hey, she’s good looking, and that’s all that matters in this country. The real crime is that there were no men around to gives this woman the sort of emotional and sexual gratification she so clearly is crying out for. I would tell her to look me up when she gets out of the joint, but I have enough emotionally unstable women lurking in the shadows. Still, we would have made a good couple because even though I’ve got over 20 years on her current boyfriend, I’m still very much a child heart.

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