dvd review: GANG$TA RAP: THE GLOCKUMENTARY

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Back in 1991 or 1992 there was an article in Spin about the breakup of NWA that featured and interview with Eazy E, which to this day remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I was so inspired by this article, and what Eazy E had to say, that I wrote a screenplay called In Effect, which was going to be a mockumentary about a gangsta rap group in the vein of This is Spinal Tap. My friend Paul wrote some great songs, including “The Only Good Whitey Is a Dead Whitey” and “Jan Brady’s P***y.” Unfortunately, before we could ever get around to making the film, Chris Rock made a film called CB4, followed by Rusty Cundieff’s Fear of a Black Hat, both of which tried—with varying degrees of failure—to be the Spinal Tap of rap. And while I can find faults and shortcomings in both CB4 and Fear of a Black Hat, the one positive thing that can be said about both films is that while they were inspired by This is Spinal Tap, neither was a shameless rip-off worthy of a lawsuit. The same can’t be said for Gangsta Rap: The Glockumentary.

Chronicling the attempted comeback of Gangsta Rap, a trio of Compton-based rappers who pioneered the 40 ounce-soaked tales of bitchez and niggaz in da ‘hood, this film does more than find “inspiration” from director Rob Reiner’s This is Spinal Tap. Gangsta Rap blatantly steals its plot and the vast majority of its jokes from Spinal Tap, to the extent that someone should get sued over this bullshit. The film starts off with filmmaker Carlton Bentley (real-life director Damon “Coke” Daniels) explaining his appreciation for Gangsta Rap, a group that after many years of hardship is trying to get it back together (much like Spinal Tap). At the heart of the group is Murder Mike (Slink Capone) and Du-Rag (Howie Bell), two life-long friends who spend most of the film at creative odds with each other (much like Spinal Tap). The third member of Gangsta Rap is DJ Ballistics (Schuylar Harvey), the latest in a line of deejays to die (much like the drummers in Spinal Tap). Along the way, we also meet the group’s frustrated manager (much like in Spinal Tap), and Murder Mike’s scandalous girlfriend Urethra (Tom’ya Bowden), who is looking to take control of the group (much like Spinal Tap). And speaking of This is Spinal Tap, among the many scenes you can see repackaged into a tale of gangsta rappers are the classic cucumber in tinfoil stuffed down the pants—only this time it’s a banana—the chauffer driver who won’t stop talking, the prop space pod (this time a coffin) on stage that won’t open, leaving Du-Rag trapped for most of the song, and that’s just the beginning. We even get the joke about the offensive record cover—in this case, a woman on all fours, wearing a thong, with a pistol shoved in her face—being replaced by a plain cover.

If there was an award given out for a film that is not an actual remake, but steals most of its material from another movie, it would go to Gangsta Rap: The Glockumentary. This film is so blatant and shameless in its thievery that despite the fact it has some amusing moments, it is by and large a terribly offensive piece of shit. Director and co-writer Damon “Coke” Daniels (along with fellow writer/thief Edward Laird), should be ashamed of themselves for the disgusting display of creative plagiarism. Seriously, these assholes should be sued, and someone should slap a cease and desist on the distributor.

The only way to possibly not find grievous fault with Gangsta Rap would be if you had never seen This is Spinal Tap. If that is the case, then you may be entertained by Capone and Bell, who are both solidly funny, and the only reasons to watch the film. Still, the comedic timing of the film is off, and there is none of the organic, natural quality of Spinal Tap that managed to fool so many people into thinking it was real when the film first came out. With this film, you never lose sight of the fact that this is all made up (not to mention largely stolen).

What is most frustrating about Gangsta Rap: The Glockumentary is that the two lead actors have enough talent to make the material work, but the filmmakers themselves lack the integrity to make something that even remotely approaches original. If Daniels had tried—and by “tried” I mean put in just a slight effort—to not totally rip-off a film made by someone else, then maybe I could recommend this movie. Hell, if Daniels had only “borrowed” half of Spinal Tap, as opposed to damn-near all of it, then maybe I would at least be willing to recommend the film based on the performances of the lead actors—after all, they do a decent job. But there is no way I can recommend this film, because Gangsta Rap is nothing more than This is Spinal Tap in blackface.

Damon “Coke” Daniels, if by any chance you read this review, know that there is at least one person who was not fooled by your startling and shameless lack of talent and originality. You’re a fucking hack. I would hit my friends over the head with a sack full of shit before I would let them watch your movie.

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=bamo-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B000XJ5TP4&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

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2 Responses to “dvd review: GANG$TA RAP: THE GLOCKUMENTARY”

  1. Makaveli Says:

    This DVD looks funny. Look at this music video from Gangsta Rap http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw29RcT3qnM haven’t laughed so hard for a while lol. I’m picking this up tomorrow.

  2. blorvak Says:

    Hey, it looks like the director did drop by!

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