Ashley Alexandra Dupre & The Price of Poontang

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Well, Eliot Spitzer has resigned as governor of the great state of New York, after getting caught up in a scandal involving a prostitution ring. As the story has unfolded, one of the women Spitzer was alleged to have paid for sexual services is 22 year-old Ashley Alexandra Dupre, a New Jersey native living in New York City, struggling to make it as a singer, and apparently selling her coochie for an exorbitant amount of money. By now, most of you have checked out her MySpace page, listened to that terrible song, and checked out the pictures. That one of her in the white bikini on the boat was okay, but this one is my favorite (because somehow it looks trampier to me).

According to court records, Spitzer paid Dupre $4300 for her services. Okay, now this is where I need to start getting real, so some of you may want to stop reading, ‘cause I’m about to spit some truth. Consider yourselves warned.

I’m going to be honest, based on the pictures I’ve seen of Dupre on MySpace, I’d certainly throw a hump into her. She’s not bad looking by any stretch of the imagination. But at the risk of sounding arrogant or full of shit, I have fucked better looking women than her. And it didn’t cost me $4300. In fact, I’ve fucked better looking women than Ashley Alexandra Dupree for the cost of dinner and a movie. I mean come on, there ain’t no pussy out there on the planet worth $4300, and any man that has to pay any women that kind of money to have sex isn’t really a man.

Don’t get me wrong, because when push comes to shove, we all pay for sex in one form or another, whether it is the monetary cost of meals, drinks, or movies, or the emotional cost of putting up with another person’s bullshit. But when you have to fork out hard cold cash just to get some ass, then you got some problems—especially if you are paying $4300. Shit, I was in a relationship with a woman for four years, and she damn-near let me do anything I wanted sexually, and it never cost me more than whatever I spent on dinner. And sometimes, she paid for dinner (on those nights the sex was even better, because it was like I was having to pay off a debt). I guess my point is that during a four year relationship, I know for a fact that I didn’t come close to spending $4300, and I got laid hundreds, if not thousands of times with this particular woman. Spitzer spent $4300 to fuck Dupre one time. And even if Spitzer fucks like me—a Mandingo hump-master endowed with the ability to achieve multiple erections over the course of a single copulatory session—there’s no way he could get his money’s worth. Even at my sexual best, with Rosario Dawson sitting on my face and Flashdance-era Jennifer Beals riding my joint (at the same time), and Sly and the Family Stone performing live for my musical pleasure, there’s no way I could do $4300 worth of fucking—because it can’t be done. Even if someone were videotaping it, so I could watch it later as proof that it all happened, and jack-off to it any time I wanted, it would not be worth $4300. Even if my dead father and dead grandfather were to come back from the grave—and not be all zombiefied—and give me the thumbs up while doing Rosario and Jennifer at the same time with Sly Stone leading the Family Stone in “Que Sara Sara,” it would not be worth it.

The thing that I find most disturbing is not that Spitzer went to a ho’ to get his rocks off, or even that he spent way too much money doing it. Sure, I have problems with that, but part of me understands the reason a guy would pay a woman for sex. Honestly, some guys pay for poontang not because they can’t get laid, but because they don’t want to deal with the bullshit that comes with getting laid. Keep in mind that I’m talking about the guys who fork of the big bucks for the high-priced fucks. These guys are paying for more than sex. They are paying to not have to put up with bullshit like remembering anniversaries or listening to inane drivel. They are paying to not be a husband or boyfriend almost as much as they are paying to get laid. And part of me understands that, because there have been times where all I wanted to do was get laid, and not talk about things like the the new shoes my girlfriend just bought. So yeah, even though Spitzer is an idiot who spent way too much money on some pussy, that’s not what bothers me most.

The thing that bothers me most—and it’s the thing that no one seems to be talking about—is that we live in a society where a woman can get paid that kind of money for fucking, but teachers are scraping by, barely able to make ends meet. There is a viable female candidate running for President of the United States (not that I support her), and yet we still live in a society where a woman’s greatest value is what is in between her legs. I don’t know what kind of skills or talents Ashley Alexandra Dupre has—singing certainly ain’t one of ‘em—but I find it hard to believe that the best she is capable of is fucking for money.

Don’t get me wrong, because I can objectify women on a purely sexual level with the best of them, and I do it quite often. But even when I’m ogling some chick’s ass at the grocery store, in some demented way I’m still aware of her status as a human being. Sure, that may make me sound like some sort of hypocrite, and I’m more than willing to own that label, because like all people, I have been known to dabble in the fine art of hypocrisy. But at the same time, even while objectifying women, I can’t strip them of their humanity. I may be a scumbag, but even I draw the line somewhere.

What does that mean exactly? It means that when Ashley Alexandra Dupre turns up in the pages of Playboy a few months from now, or starts making porno, I’m very likely to check it out, but while I’m doing it, I’ll be thinking to myself, “It’s a shame this young woman is allowing herself to be exploited this way.”

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3 Responses to “Ashley Alexandra Dupre & The Price of Poontang”

  1. L13 Says:

    A. DOES SHE TAKE IT IN THE RECTUM for 4300.00??

    B.HOE IS OVER PRICED EITHER WAY YO

    C.THE PROVERBIAL SILVER LININGin this dark cloud of ironic puritan contorted diseased ethos is the arrival of the unintended truth…….

    SAY HI TO THE New!!! BLIND !!!! MACK …..BREAD AND SPREAD FROM HARLEM……….MR David Patterson

  2. miki Says:

    It would seem that she is worth $4300 because someone was willing to pay it, as I am sure countless men have done before for women at prices even higher. I assume I speak to the choir when I say to never underestimate the power of male sexual urges. If anything, it is a male weakness that women are capable of, but who rarely yield to that weakness as frequently or violently or as urgently as the male population.

    It’s a shame that women are not legally free to run their body’s business as their own. We would make a killing with the male market out there. And if legal, it might not be as tainted and considered as “immoral” as it is held now. In the current position, it *is* exploitation, it is demoralizing, and it is often used by men who want to wield power over the female form.

    Why shouldn’t women be paid that much money for fucking? The teacher issue is altogether different. Though there is usually a discrepancy, both male and female teachers alike lack in salary due to them for the job they do. This is the fault of the government for not taking their country and education seriously.

    In the end, legal or not legal, I suspect there will always be a degrading aspect merely for the fact that we are still backwards in our society today. There is no equality. Women are just as sexualized and put down today as yesterday. Most of it is just hidden under the guise of political correctness, and that only in the most metropolitan of areas, mostly!

    For the near and far future, unless there is some dramatic genetic change in the human genome somewhere, men will always always be willing to pay up the ass for hot sex with some chick on demand. If you had the money and the time, wouldn’t you do it too?

  3. David Walker Says:

    When I was younger, maybe. Probably. But not now. I like sex. No…I LOVE sex. And when I was younger, sex for the sake of sex was just fine. But that shit doesn’t cut it anymore. It gets to a point where meaningless sex just drains you, and the less you care about the other person the more it becomes like jacking-off using another person’s genitals. And since jacking-off is free, there’s no way I would pay a woman to let me jack-off in her vagina.

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