Hillary Clinton Calls Herself a Loser

rocky-hilary.jpg

Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was campaigning in Philadelphia, where during a speech she compared herself to Rocky Balboa, the iconic boxer first portrayed by Sylvester Stallone in the 1976 film Rocky. “Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people,” said Clinton.

I’m sure this must have been an inspirational moment to all of Clinton’s supporters, as the candidate cast herself in what has become the archetype role of an underdog refusing to throw in the towel. But has anyone stopped to consider that in the original Rocky, he lost the fight to Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers). I mean…I hate to be a stickler for details, or the party pooper who rains on the parade, but when push comes to shove, comparing yourself to someone who tries really hard, but still loses, is not the best campaign strategy. Think about it. She basically told the world, “I am like the guy who busted his ass to win the heavy weight championship, but still got his ass served to him by a black man.”

Maybe it was simply that Clinton had forgotten that Rocky lost the fight. Or maybe she got her Rocky movies confused, after all, there are five more to choose from. Maybe she was so caught up in the moment that she meant to say, “I’m like Rocky in Rocky II, who after losing manages to get his act together and get a rematch that he wins.” Of course, that would be a lot like saying, “Even if McCain beats me this time around, I’ll be back in 2012 to win the race.”

All of this has gotten me to thinking about Clinton’s campaign, and how it can be compared to the Rocky film series.

Rocky—We’ve already established that while it might be initially inspiring to people to think of Clinton as Rocky, it is important to remember that Rocker was a loser. That’s to say, he lost!!! Is this really the sort of candidate we want to be supporting?

Rocky II—Perhaps Clinton meant to compare herself to Rocky in Rocky II, in which the contender is granted a rematch with Apollo Creed. In a way, this film was a bit more inspirational, because it gave the audience what it really wanted: a victorious Italian Stallion. Of course not only did this film usher in a new era of winning-is-the-only-option cinema that has dominated every underdog film since, it also sent a bit of a poor message to Clinton’s supporters. In essence, she is saying that is she loses—just like Rocky in the first movie—she will be back for more.

clubber-lang.jpgRocky III—If there was ever a Rocky film that seems appropriate to the times, this is it. The third film in the series finds Rocky the reigning heavy weight champion of the world, with no real competition. This is sort of what Clinton was like within the Democratic party two years ago—the hands-on favorite for the nomination, with no real competition to speak of. But the along comes Barack Obama, who is clearly the Clubber Lang (Mr. T) to Clinton’s Rocky. Clubber Lang was a fighter that everyone underestimated, he beat Rocky like the fool owed him money. The world was shocked and traumatized that the scary black man—a superior fighter—could come along and hurt their beloved champion. But what really bothered people was Clubber Lang’s unabashed blackness and his unwillingness to kowtow to the expectations of white people. Rocky is only able to face Clubber in the ring, after he is trained by Apollo Creed to be more like a black fighter. This means that in order for Clinton to win, she is going to have to become more like Obama. (It is also interesting to note that Rocky III is in the top three most homoerotic films of all time; but that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.)

Rocky IV—Rocky vs. Russia. This is the film where Apollo is killed in the ring by Drago (Dolph Lundgren), the evil steroid-fueled wrecking machine from the Soviet Union. If Clinton is using this film as an example of how she is like Rocky, then the conclusion we must make is that the black man who helps her achieve her greatness is completely expendable. We can only take this to mean that when it comes to foreign policy—be it trade deals or matters involving war—Clinton is willing to sell out those that helped prop her up.

Rocky V—I didn’t see this one, but the general consensus is that it sucked.

Rocky Balboa—If this is the Rocky that Clinton is comparing herself to, then she is saying that she is a washed up fighter basking in the glow of her former greatness. She steps back into the ring only because it heals her wounded psyche and pride.

I think we’ve established that Hillary Clinton may not have made the best choice in comparing herself to Rocky, at least not when it comes to people like myself who understand what that sort of comparison really means. If anything, she would have been better off comparing herself and her husband, former President Bill Clinton, to Thelma and Louise, two likeable characters who didn’t quit while the quitting was good, and instead rode off to their own doom.

rollerball.jpgAs for my main man Barack Obama, the best person he can compare himself to is Jonathan E, James Caan’s character in the original, 1975 version of Rollerball. Set in a dystopian future where evil corporations run the world—sort of like right this very moment—Jonathan E is the most popular player in the deadly sport of rollerball (an analogy for whatever you want it to be, but for my purposes, an analogy for politics). The sport itself is used as a means to control the masses, and used to show the futility of individuality. But when Jonathan succeeds at a sport that was specifically designed to never allow any one person to become the best—and thereby inspire people to strive for greatness—then he is targeted for death. But the people, who have long been lulled into complacency through consumerism and media manipulation recognize in Jonathan the shackles of their own mediocrity and the oppressive nature of the corporate machine that has governed their lives for too long.

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3 Responses to “Hillary Clinton Calls Herself a Loser”

  1. Hillary Clinton Calls Herself a Loser Says:

    […] James wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptPresidential candidate Hillary Clinton was campaigning in Philadelphia , where during a speech she compared herself to Rocky Balboa, the iconic boxer first portrayed by Sylvester Stallone in the 1976 film Rocky. … Read the rest of this great post here […]

  2. 我的 Blog » Blog Archive » BadAzz Musings Says:

    […] critical mistakes of presidential candiates comparing themselves to famous movie characters,  David Walker rules.   From BadAzzMofo:   “Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was campaigning in […]

  3. D-nice Says:

    Man, why ya’ll messing with Rocky? Hillz was screwed to pick Rocky anyway cause Stallone is a Republican.Rocky was Stallone’s “On the Waterfront”, Roger Ebert, I think it was him, compared Stallone’s performance to Brando. Those Rocky’s sequals were popcorn movies but the original still inspirational. Someone needs to ask Stallone what he thinks about Hillz/Rocky comparison.lol

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