dvd review – ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES!-STRIPPERS VS. ZOMBIES

There are inherent expectations that come when the title of a movie is Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies. Mind you, those expectations aren’t necessarily all that high—in fact they should be rather low—but the expectations are there none the less. First and foremost, it is not at all unreasonable to expect a movie called Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies to have lots of zombies and a fair amount of strippers as well. Now, exactly how many zombies and how many strippers a person thinks will fill the quota is something each individual must determine on their own. But as far as I’m concerned, if you show me a movie with the title Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies that runs 82 minutes, I want at least thirty minutes of gratuitous nudity and forty minutes of zombie related mayhem, which leaves approximately twelve minutes for things like plot and character development. Stray too far from that formula and you run the risk of a movie called Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies being a low-rent bit of schlock that never really delivers the type of trash it promises.

Just so there is no confusion, the title Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies pretty much sums up the plot—exotic dancers must defend themselves from the undead. The fun begins—and keep in mind that “fun” is used liberally—when an inconsequential sleaze bag steals some tainted crack from the local mad scientist. Yes…I know how ridiculous that sounds, which should clue you in on the nature of this film. As it turns out, the crack has been laced with some sort of experimental somethingorother, and when the sleaze bag gives it to a hooker, who shares it with a fellow hooker, they become infected, die and then come back as flesh-hungry zombies (which means that these are not your evey day zombies, they are crack whore zombies). But before the crack whores actually become zombies, we meet the strippers who work at the local club, including Harley (Hollie Winnard), who is dealing with her first night on the job. After their shift, Harley and some of the other strippers head over to the local diner, where they get into a confrontation with the hookers that have yet to die and come back as zombies. After what seems like a ridiculously long time without nearly enough gratuitous nudity or any zombie related mayhem, the action begins. Harley’s brother Chris (Sean Harriman) shows up, and soon most of the gang is taking refuge inside the strip club as more and more zombies begin to show up outside. It’s all pretty much the standard seeking-shelter-from-the-zombie-onslaught stuff we’ve seen hundreds of times, only sloppily repackaged to make it seem original, funny and slightly titillating. Unfortunately, very little seems original, funny or titillating.

Being overly critical of a film called Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies is pretty pointless. Movies like this are not meant to be watched with an overly critical eye—which is something the producers of this flick seem to be banking on. They provide some decent looking women who take their clothes off—not nearly enough, however, to really fill out any sort of sexploitation quota—and they do have zombies—poorly made up though they may be. But the standard exploitative material that Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies delivers is meager at best, and there is never enough to keep diehard fans of flicks such as this one satisfied. Seriously, there should be enough nudity in any one scene for any horny bastard to jerk-off to, and the splatter effects should not inspire laughter solely because of the lame-ass CGI. And making matters worse is that the film actually has the audacity to try and have character development. If there was ever a movie that cried out for one-dimensional, poorly developed characters, it is one about zombies versus strippers. But instead, we get treated to actual scenes where strippers talk about being single mothers and silly attempts to give characters depth. Rather than character–developing dialog, how about some topless bumping and grinding?

There’s no real need to trash Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies—I mean c’mon, most of the people who will rent it aren’t likely to read a review of it in the first place. At the same time, there is even less reason to praise this movie. It wants to be like classic exploitation movies such as the Basket Case series or Troma’s The Toxic Avenger. But it really comes across as nothing more than Troma-lite, a watered down exploitation film that never really goes for broke in either the sexploitation of the horror angle. This is a movie that seems better suited for 15 year-old boys with a boner for naked chicks and zombies who have yet to discover movies like Frankenhooker or Return of the Living Dead. To someone like that, maybe Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! – Strippers vs. Zombies would seem better. But for anyone who has seen their share of exploitative B-movies they will have no doubt seen more than a few flicks better than this one.

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