The Year Gone By

Well, 2008 is drawing to a close (in some parts of the world it is already 2009), and I can honestly say that I’m ready for the New Year. I’m not going to spend any time blathering on and on about what a difficult year it’s been, because we all know how difficult it’s been (and for some it was more difficult than for others). But it is important to remember that there were good things that happened in 2008 as well as the bad. In all of our lives they were lows and highs, love and loss, and more than enough challenges to help us build our character. If you were one of the people that stood by me during the difficult times of 2008, know that my appreciation knows no limits. If you were one of the people who took a dump on me, know that I don’t take it personally, because people like you are pathetic losers that can’t help themselves. I’d like to end the year with a special song—one of my favorites of all time. I haven’t seen the video in over 20 years, but it was recently posted, and I think it seems appropriate in some way as the official anthem for ringing out 2008, and welcoming in 2009. Peace.

THE SPIRIT

Well, The Spirit has opened, and I have not seen it. Honestly, the movie looked so terrible that I had no desire to see it. You can read my article on MSN about Will Eisner, the creator of The Spirit, or you can read reviews by some people I trust. Here is Alexandra DuPont’s review on AICN. Here is Fatboy Roberts’ review at Geek in the City. And just in case you want a review by someone from a more “mainstream” outlet, here are Owen Gleiberman’s thoughts over at Entertainment Weekly.

dvd review: IN HELL

When it comes to prison exploitation movies where the hero is forced to fight to stay alive, slugging it out against other inmates in brutal gladiatorial matches, there are no better films that Jamaa Fanaka’s classic Penitentiary trilogy. Between those three films, you pretty much get everything you could ever hope to have in a prison movie—and even things you didn’t know you wanted in a prison movie—making the Penitentiary films the stick by which all others must be measured. In fact, Fanaka’s films are so brilliant, and cover so much territory, everything that has followed in their wake seems like a rip-off. Undisputed and Undisputed 2? Total rip offs of Penitentiary. And while it may not be a total rip-off, director Ringo Lam’s In Hell, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, really should have a special thanks to Fanaka in the credits, because nearly every great moment in this movie comes from his films.

New Article on MSN

I’ve got another article on MSN. This one is on Will Eisner, legendary comic book writer/artist, and creator of The Spirit.

I Warned You! I WARNED YOU ALL!!!!

Not that long ago I posted something about monkeys being used as waiters in a restaurant in Tokyo, and warned of how that could potentially lead to an ape uprising, like in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Well, I warned you all it would happen, and it has. In China, a man was attacked by monkeys. These monkeys beat his ass with a stick, and pulled his hair out. Read the full story here.

Hear Me On the Radio

Make sure you tune in ( or log on) to The Rick Emerson Show on AM 970, Thursday, Dec. 18 at noon, to hear my guest spot reading the news.

dvd review: I AM LEGEND: ULTIMATE COLLECTOR'S EDITION

It has been less than a year since I Am Legend opened in theaters, and about nine months since it debuted on DVD, but Warner Brothers has gone back to the DVD well on what has proven to be an incredible popular and lucrative film. Arriving just in time for the holidays, and on the heels of the first real details of the proposed prequel, this three-disc collector’s edition is a reminder of what is both exciting and infuriating about the DVD market. For the most diehard fans of this third adaptation of Richard Matheson’s seminal horror novel, I Am Legend: Ultimate Collector’s Edition may have enough extra bells and whistles to convince you to shell out more money for a movie you’re likely to already have two versions of, but it is something you should serious think about before making that investment.

film review: PUNISHER: WAR ZONE

Really, when you stop and think about it, there really isn’t a character better suited for an easy transition from the comic book page to the movie screen than Marvel’s Punisher. Loaded down with enough fire power to stop an army, decked out in a black outfit emblazoned with a skull, and no super powers other than the ability to kill criminals, the Punisher is about as no-frills as comic book characters get. There’s no convincing a movie audience he can fly, or that he transforms into a giant green monster, or that he has enhanced strength from being bitten by a spider. But despite the simplicity of the character, the last two attempts at bringing the Punisher to life—an idiotic 1988 adaptation starring Dolph Lundgren and an even more abysmal 2004 version starring Thomas Jane—have ranked among the more craptacular comic book movies. And those two miserable failures are either enough to make you wonder why anyone would make another Punisher movie, or give you cynical hope that at least there’s nowhere to go but up.

Happy Birthday, David Walker.

My father’s name was David H. Walker. If he were still alive, today would be his 60th birthday. I wrote about him last year, and while I planned to write something special this year, but I just can’t do it. To be sure, I have more to say—things to add to what I wrote last year. But I just can’t seem to find that inner strength it takes to bare my naked soul. Instead, I’m reposting what I posted last year, for anyone who wants to read it again, or anyone who wants to experience it for the first time. Happy birthday, dad.

dvd review: WANTED

For the record, just so there is no misunderstanding whatsoever, I don’t have a problem with over-the-top action films that deliver excessive violence while shortchanging the audience on anything that even resembles intelligence. In fact, I really like those movies, as evidenced by my fondness for the first Transporter, Shoot ‘Em Up and a whole host of other flicks that go heavy with the action, but exceptionally light on the brains. But even I have my limits, and have found myself throwing my hands up in frustration when something is simply too stupid. Yes, I know, these movies are supposed to be fun. But sometimes these movies aren’t fun. Sometimes they are painful experiences that fail to entertain, while managing to infuriate and rob you of the precious moments you spent watching this insipid bullshit. And that’s what Wanted is.