film review: TERMINATOR SALVATION

Back in 1984, James Cameron’s low budget sci-fi action film The Terminator seemed to be just about the coolest movie of its time. Borrowing heavily from two classic episodes of the television series The Outer Limits—“Soldier” and “Demon With a Glass Hand”— Terminator offered the mind-bending tale of a time-traveling killing machine (Arnold Schwarzenegger) sent from the future into the present to kill a woman whose son would lead a rebellion against the machines that overthrow mankind. Much like Ridley Scott’s 1979 film Alien, The Terminator kicked off a science fiction franchise that started out strong, hit its apex with the sequel (both Terminator 2 and Aliens were directed by Cameron), and then lost much of its energy—only with the Alien films, there were more sequels and spin-offs to measure the downward spiral.

I Love Jesse Ventura

Professional wrestler, former Governor of Minnesota, actor, Navy SEAL during the Vietnam War and publisher author. Jesse Ventura has done much in his life time, but nothing seems quite as impressive as the way he has been laying waste to conservative talk show hosts and media loudmouths as he makes the rounds on television promoting his new book (which amazingly, he never actually mentions during his interviews). Normally, I don’t watch guys like Sean Hannity, because in addition to not agreeing with his political views, I find him and many of those like him to be total fucking idiots. They spew right wing neo-con rhetoric meant to rile the unwashed masses and close-minded bigots that hide behind the Bible while clutching an American flag like it was security blanket. People like Hannity and the hosts of Fox and Friends only seem intelligent to the people who are at least as ignorant as they are, if not more so. But when these morons square off against someone like Jesse Ventura, who does not intimidate easily, they show the true colors of their stupidity. Here is a clip of Ventura on Fox and Friends, where co-host Brian Kilmeade comes across like a clueless fucking idiot. Here he is with Sean Hannity, who comes across like even more of a clueless fucking idiot. The first rule of being the host of any show is that you never let your guest take control and get the better of you. Sure, it happens, but Watching Ventura decimate these people, you have to wonder how in the Hell did anyone give a dumb douche bags like Hannity or Kilmeade jobs in television journalism.

dvd review: NEVER SURRENDER

Anyone who watches Never Surrender—a movie that boasts “The world’s top MMA fighters in their first feature film!”—and expects it to be anything other than low-grade schlock is either an idiot, completely naïve, or simply hasn’t watched enough movies to recognize crap for what it is. That said, it should come as no surprise that Never Surrender is in fact a craptacular mess. This is, in case you weren’t paying attention, a movie that lays claim to being the first feature film of the world’s top MMA fighters, and none of them, mind you, are classically trained actors. Sure, these guys can fight—and fight well, I might add—but when it comes to acting…well…let’s just say that they are all good fighters.

dvd review: BLACK HOLLYWOOD

It is with a great degree of embarrassment that I admit that up until very recently, I didn’t even know that the documentary Black Hollywood: Blaxploitation and Advancing an Independent Black Cinema existed. Having produced my own documentary on the subject, published a magazine dedicated to the subject, co-authored a book on the subject, and having worked on other projects for other people, all revolving around black films of the 1970s, it seems ridiculous that I knew nothing of Black Hollywood. It also seems equally ridiculous that in years of research, and with countless conversations and interviews conducted, not a single person ever mentioned this movie. It was as if it never existed. But here it is, newly released on DVD, after what I can only imagine has been a long time of existing in a limbo of barely remembered films.

film review: STAR TREK

My original review of the new Star Trek, director J. J. Abrams’ seemingly ill-advised attempt to relaunch a franchise that has become an integral part of world culture, consisted of only two words. Those words were “fuck” and “yeah.” Some people might question the validity of a review that simply said, “fuck yeah,” but that was the first coherent thought running through my head after the initial punch-you-in-the-face-to get-your-adrenaline-pumping opening sequence of Star Trek. Fuck yeah.

Happy Birthday, Bonnie Walker

Today, May 4th, is the birthday of one my best friends in the entire world, my mom, Bonnie Walker. Some people might think it’s a bit strange that my mother is one of my best friends. And when I look at the relationships most of my friends share with their mothers, I guess maybe the friendship between my mom and me is a bit weird. We love watching kung fu movies together, and whenever we listen to “Blind with Anger” by The Goats, she sings along with the chorus, “That’s what happens when you’re blind with anger/They didn’t give a fuck, so I didn’t give a fuck.” When I turned 21, she got me my first tattoo, telling me, “No son of mine is going through life without a tattoo.” There are so many stories I could tell, but right now, the point I’m trying to make is that Bonnie Walker is just a really cool person, and that’s that. Sure, she has her problems, as we all do, and she’s far from perfect, as we all are, but when it comes to being a decent human being, she’s rock solid. I could not have picked a better mom if I had a choice, nor could I have picked a better friend to share this adventure of life with. And I just wanted everyone to know this, in case there was ever any doubt.

dvd review: SHAW BROTHERS COLLECTION

The mistake some people make (and by some people I must confess that I mean myself), is that they often think that just because they love a certain genre, they will love all films in that genre. I’ve made that mistake in the past, and continue you to do so frequently, especially as I seek out different genre entries that may net some gem waiting to be “discovered.” This is especially true for me when it comes to kung fu movies, which I love, but ranks among the genres where my knowledge is most limited. And as a result, I find myself, from time to time, watching stuff that does very little other than rob me of my time.

film review: X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE

There was a time in my life when I thought the Chuck Norris movie Missing in Action 2: The Beginning was a great film. Of course, that was back in 1985, when it first came out, and my cinematic tastes were far from fully developed. The reason I’m sharing this bit of information about myself is because I think it’s important to note that there was a time when I liked certain movies, simply because I didn’t know enough to realize that they kinda sucked. Which is why I feel confident in saying that there was a time when, in all likelihood, when I would have really liked X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But that time, for better or worse, has long since passed; meaning that years from now I will never have to look back and say, “Man, I can’t believe I actually thought Wolverine was good,” the same way I now look back at Missing in Action 2 and say, “What the fuck was I thinking?” That is, unless of course, I don’t look back years from now and suddenly see some sort of cinematic genius in X-Men Origins: Wolverine that now eludes me. It could happen; but honestly dear friends, I highly doubt it will.