Chris Evans cast as Captain America

Apparently, actor Chris Evans has signed on to star as Captain America in the upcoming film live action film. Some of you may know Evans from his role as the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four movies (which sucked). Evans can also be seen in the upcoming movie-based-on-a-comic The Losers (the book sucks, so I have little hope for the film). And of course, Evans was in Push, which, big surprise, also sucked. Now, I don’t want to say the casting of Evans was a mistake, because by doing so I would be too much like one of those spastic, mouth-breathing fanboys that jerks off to naked pictures of She-Hulk. But I do feel the need to point out that I also felt the casting of Nicholas Cage in Ghost Rider, Ben Affleck in Daredevil, and Val Kilmer in Batman Forever were all mistakes, and history—not too mention inept filmmaking—proved me to absofreakinglutely correct. I have the same this-steaming-pile-of-brown-goop-looks-and-smells-like-crap-so-don’t-tell-me-it’s-chocolate-pudding feeling about Evans as Captain America as I have about Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern. Maybe I’ll be wrong, but I am wrong so seldom that it seems unlikely. And I just want to make sure that I have gone on the record, and voiced my concerns that casting Evans was a huge mistake. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with some pictures of She-Hulk.

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